The Total Transformation Program by James Lehman is designed for parents dealing with difficult children from about the age of 6 through the teens.  I recommend it to my readers since it complements my audio course.

Wow – it’s hard to believe I’ve already reviewed lessons 1 through 6.    Lesson 7 will help you to stop the bad behavior dead in its tracks and hopefully provide a conclusion to all of the techniques you have gained throughout this audio course.

James Lehman refers to this chapter as the “Trigger Management Process”.  What causes our thoughts to trigger the feelings we feel, like fear, anger, and hurt?  These feelings are what ultimately cause your child to act abusively or disrespectfully.

You are probably wondering how the heck you are going to identify what triggers your child’s bad behavior.  Fear not – the first thing you will want to do is to “diminish the potential”.  Keep your children away from things that are going to get them heated.

You will need to “manage the situation”.  The parent is responsible to teach their child how to get out of tough situations should they get into one.  Lehman recommends taking a time out or chilling out by listening to music and so on.

You will learn to teach your child how to evaluate on their own whether they want to react negatively to a situation.  A child will be able to decide for his or herself if behaving badly is worth it.

Always remember to have an open dialogue at home and at school.  Authoritative figures should be made aware that the child is learning new coping strategies to avoid negative outbursts.

This lesson gives you the tools necessary to identify the nature of the “triggers” and help your child to learn to manage them.   Now it is your responsibility to take these techniques and implement them.  Good luck!

Continue reading my review of the Total Transformation Program.

Listen to audio samples of the Total Transformation Program.

Hey, I'm Chris Thompson. I help stressed-out parents deal with toddlers. Grab the free lesson I've prepared for you. You'll love it. Email:

This morning I was reading an article about customer service.  The author was saying how sick he was of crappy customer service from companies that send out a bunch of form letters (cut & paste type replies) that don’t match his problem.  I know how annoying this is.  That’s why I reply personally, with a real reply, when customers email me with any kind of technical problem, etc.

Say I get an email from a customer.  The email says, “Hi Chris – I just purchased the audio course yesterday and I didn’t have time to download it.  Now my link has expired.  What can I do?”.

When I get that email I will write back to make sure the customer knows these things:

1) I tell them that I understand the problem.  I explain that the links automatically expire after 24 hours. This helps prevent digital theft.

2) I tell them I am going to reset their link immediately.

3) I tell the customer that I’m there to help, and that I’m not going to leave them hanging.

This kind of personal treatment makes customers feel good about doing business with me.  I know this because of how many replies I get thanking me for the quick and helpful replies.

So how is this connected with parenting?

Imagine if your toddler or young child tells you they are hungry.  The “stock answer” that many parents will give is, “Oh, I’ll feed you lunch when we get home”.  Then you get a tantrum, or fussy behavior, etc.

What if you took on a “customer service” role instead.  You might enter your child’s world (as I teach in the free audio lesson).  You might say, “I understand you are hungry, and I’m going to help you”.  You might then explain the facts if your child is old enough to understand.  You can say, “We don’t have any food here.  But I know we have food at home.  Would you like to eat a snack as soon as we get home?  I can take you there very soon if you are really hungry”.

My audio course has plenty of techniques to help with this type of situation.  But if you were to just avoid using “stock answers”,which are a parent’s lazy solution to a problem, then you’ll get better results more often.  Try it and you’ll see.  When your child sees that you are there to help, they behave differently.

Click here to get more information about how to deal with toddlers

Readers of this blog know that I offer an audio program for dealing with toddlers.  Many readers also have older kids, which is not where my product is targeted.  For older kids I recommend The Total Transformation Program.  It is an amazing system to help you deal with your troubled children.  Here is my review of Lesson 6.

Lesson 6 of The Total Transformation Program is all about problem solving.  Parents and children will work together to figure out their reasons for lashing out by confronting the inappropriate behavior.  Next, you will determine how best to react to future problems by coming up with an agreed-upon alternative behavior.  James Lehman breaks down these problem-solving techniques into 8 straight-forward steps.

The first and most crucial step is to “investigate.”  It is the parents’ responsibility to understand the child and to understand what motivates his or her bad behavior.  This can be done by walking your child through a series of simple questions, like “What was going on just before you got upset?”

Parents need to “confront” their child’s behavior.  In doing this, the parent must remain on a facts-only basis and not interject any feelings, blame, or emotion.  State the behavior you saw.  By sticking to the facts you’ll find it’s much easier to deal with the problem and come to a solution.

Always remember to “challenge” your child’s reactions.  Be sure to tell your kids that excuses don’t justify bad behavior, for example “even though you broke up with your boyfriend that’s no excuse for you to be yelling at everyone in the house.”

Be sure to follow up with “consequences” for the child’s negative behavior.  These consequences should involve a task and be done in a specified amount of time.  Make sure they are clear and are linked to the bad behavior.

I have briefly described a few of the steps needed to reshape your child’s behavior.  Lesson 6 explores all eight steps in more detail.  Be sure to listen to the audio track carefully and follow all of Lehman’s homework assignments for best results.

Continue reading my review of the Total Transformation Program.

Listen to audio samples of the Total Transformation Program.