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I just got back from vacation with my wife and kids. We were in Cuba, which is an absolutely beautiful island with amazing beaches. I know a lot of my US readers have never experienced it because of the trade embargo and travel restrictions placed upon US citizens … but for everyone else, I highly recommend Cuba.

We stayed at the Iberostar Varadero, which our travel agent recommended to us as one of the best hotels to stay at. He was right. We had been to Varadero 8 years earlier, without kids, and we picked a pretty crappy and cheap hotel. This time around it was way better.

Over the years, traveling with kids, we have learned a few important tips that I thought I’d share in this blog post. Most of these relate to visiting all-inclusive resorts in the Caribbean, since that’s what we usually do in the winter. Here goes:

• Most of the restaurants at resorts do not have “take away” packaging for food. If you have young kids who are excited to hit the beach or pool, they may not eat enough at breakfast. By 9:30 or 10:00 they’ll be begging for food. I recommend that you bring a couple of plastic plates with you on vacation, or a small disposable Tupperware-style container. This way you can go grab some food from the buffet restaurant and take it back to your spot at the pool or beach.
• It’s also a good idea to pack a sippy cup for each child, for easy transportation of water and juice.
• Sunscreen is a must! I really believe in the value and health benefits of sun exposure, but when you live in Canada, or any colder climate, you just can’t tolerate hours of Caribbean sun every day. We went to the Dollar Store (Dollarama, in Toronto) and we got spray-on sunscreen for $2 per bottle. It was a name brand, also. Spray is easy and fast, compared to the kind you have to rub into your child’s skin. It also covers the face better (make sure to get your children to close their eyes and exhale while you spray it, and just be quick).
• If the dinner hours at the restaurant do not correspond well with your child’s bedtime, you might use room service (included at most resorts). If you do, ask them to bring extra plates because you’ll likely be sharing the food with more than one child.
• If you are a coffee drinker, bring travel mugs. You will probably end up leaving the breakfast restaurant before you have your fill of coffee, so this solves your caffeine problem. I can’t tell you how many years in a row my wife and I would forget to do this. Then, at the resort, we’d see other people with travel mugs and kick ourselves.
• Do your best to get your kids to take an afternoon nap. They will get very tired playing all day, and they’ll probably want to stay up later than their normal bedtime. If you want to avoid having them run their little immune systems into the ground, a nap is a wonderful way to do it. Plus, it gives you a bit more quiet time to enjoy your vacation.
• Keep the kids hydrated. Remember the sippy cup idea? Make sure you keep pumping your kids full of water, and sometimes juice (I recommend diluting it with water).
• Pack a lot of cheap activities that your kids can use on the plane and in case of rainy weather. Coloring books, crayons, and stickers are all cheap and effective ideas. You can buy them at a dollar store and just throw them away when done.
• Buy cheap inflatable toys for the pool and then leave them at the resort when you come home. You can get beach balls, and other great water toys for next to nothing these days, and they don’t take up any space in your luggage, nor do they weigh much. I also bought a pack splash bombs for about $4 at WalMart. These things are hours of entertainment in the pool. Highly recommended.
• Bring snacks for the plane also. Charter flights from vacation companies are always packed, and you’ll be glad you planned ahead if you bring your own snacks. I recommend healthy alternatives such as nuts and dried fruit when possible, not cookies, twinkies, and other garbage.

Those are my thoughts. Do you have any of your own tips that you’d like to share? Please leave your comments!

Enjoy your children,
Chris Thompson

Tonight, just after dinner, we were all upstairs in the master bedroom and the kids had our TV on for some quiet time. Except they weren’t quiet yet. They were a bit excited, and making plenty of noise.

I hardly ever mind the noise, except that my wife and I were trying to have a conversation. She was washing her face in the bathroom and I was only 6 feet away with the kids, beside the bed. My wife was trying to say something, but it was literally impossible to hear her.

I asked the kids, politely, to “listen to Mommy”, but it didn’t work. Pretty normal so far, right? Yes. But this is where my style starts to divert from the “normal” way of dealing with kids.

You see, I understand that if I keep asking my kids to be quiet, they’ll keep making noise. Then, I’ll get irritated and start nagging them. I might even shout if I got really upset!

Years ago, while I was learning about NLP, I learned a saying. It goes like this: The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing while expecting different results. I learned this from Tony Robbins, the motivational speaker guru. But I’m pretty sure he didn’t invent the expression.

But back to the story. What did I do instead? I made use of an Ericksonian hypnosis technique called “utilization”. Dealing with your kids is not hypnotherapy, but the principle still applies. In short the concept is to “utilize” what your child is giving you. In this case, my kids wanted to be the ones talking. My oldest was by far the loudest. She really wanted to be in control. So I gave her a simple task, relating to an upcoming vacation, that would put her in control while also getting her to listen.

What task? Well, we’re leaving for a vacation to Cuba in a few days, and my kids are very excited. They know that people speak Spanish in Cuba. So, I told my daughter, “Sweetheart - tell mommy to say something in Spanish”. I had a feeling she’d go along with this. She did, and my wife said something in Spanish. I have no idea what she said but it sounded cool … one day I will master that language!

Next, I said to my daughter, “Ok great - now tell mommy to repeat what she was saying before”. What happened? My daughter complied. She asked my wife to repeat herself, and then she sat back and listened.

Mission accomplished. Instead of yelling at my kids to be quiet, I simply utilized their desire to be in control. If you are a customer of my audio course, then you may also notice I used a compliance set. Put another way, I used an unconscious reframe to get my kids to see themselves as being in control because they were listening to something *they* had asked for.

Maybe I’m a bit “weird” to suggest that techniques of hypnosis and influence can be successfully used to get children to act appropriately. Maybe … but I prefer to think that it’s weird to keep asking your kids to be quiet and expecting that suddenly they are going to listen. Not gonna happen. Try something new.

My advice to parents is simple. Pay attention to what your kids seem to want, and give it to them in a way that satisfies their needs and your own. You’ll avoid fights, stress, and you will all be a lot happier.

I hope this example was helpful to you. If it was, imagine how much you’ll enjoy my free audio lesson.

Enjoy your children,
Chris Thompson

As some of you know from my past blog entries and emails, I’m a bit of a health & fitness nut.

Well, it’s January 6th today. I’m willing to bet that a lot of you made some sort of New Year’s resolution to improve your physical fitness, lose weight, or something along those lines. I’m also willing to bet that some of you have already fallen off the wagon.

I’d like to offer you some motivation to stay on track, set a good example for your kids, and improve your overall health.

Before we begin …

I want to tell you about a guy I know named Mike Geary. He’s a Certified Nutrition Specialist and Certified Personal Trainer. I’ve been reading his stuff for a while, and I think he’s worth listening to.

He’s also the author of a great book called “The Truth About Six Pack Abs”. I buy a lot of ’stuff’ and I have a copy of his book (it’s a digital product just like my parenting course).

Here’s a link to his book, but don’t click on it just yet. There’s more that you need to know.

Ok, so what’s the point of this post? And how can you get a copy of Talking to Toddlers for free? Here’s the answer: I’m going to give you a free copy of my course if you give Mike’s fitness book a fair shot. “Fair shot” is really an honesty policy thing.

You see, he sells his product on the ClickBank marketplace (for digital products), just like me, so his return policy is the same as mine. That means if you think it’s crap, you can get a refund within 60 days. Now, I know it’s *not* crap or I wouldn’t ever mention it to you. You see, if it was crap, you’d buy his book, you’d get my parenting course for free, and then you’d ask for a refund on his book (and I’d get zip). Why would I do that? Of course - I wouldn’t.

Rules

To get a copy of my course for free all you have to do is use my link to buy Mike’s fitness book. Yes, in case you are wondering, I get a commission, which is why I’m able to give you my course for free as a bonus. I feel it’s right to disclose that to you. But I’m basically giving you an ethical bribe. If you take me up on the offer, you get my course for free, and you have a risk-free return policy on his book.

Important

You must use this link right here to order. You must also verify that the following shows up at the bottom of the Clickbank order form:
[affiliate = t2toddlers]

If you make sure to do this, I’ll get credit for your purchase and you can then email me your clickbank receipt number(my email address is info AT talkingtotoddlers.com) and I’ll send you a free copy of Talking to Toddlers.

This offer is only valid until Sunday, January 10th.

Improve your chances of success

I’m a big believer of the rule of committment. If you commit to something publicly, you’re more likely to succeed at your goal.

So here’s what I want you to do. Go to the comments section on this blog posting and write down your fitness goals! Tell us how you want to be a role model for your kids! Do it and achieve it!

All the best to everyone,
Chris

If you’ve got kids in your house then you probably feel like you are always cleaning. I know that my wife and I feel this way!

This morning I was cleaning the kitchen. I’ve lately become more critical of all the junk that people buy, which creates waste. With cleaning supplies, I really prefer to keep it simple and not buy products that are built for one purpose. I prefer vinegar to clean surfaces, floors, etc. I like to use baking soda to scrub sinks, and stuff like that.

But we still have disposable stuff like those oh-so-popular disinfectant wipes. With so many people worried about Swine Flu and other germs, I bet we’re in good company. My wife loves to buy these things to clean counter tops, etc. Then they get thrown away. I’ve included a picture here of the brand we buy from Costco.

After we finish using the wipe to disinfect a surface, I have started to re-use them for the nasty, dirty jobs around the house..

Today, for example, I grabbed the “used” wipe after my wife was finished cleaning the counter. It was still in perfect shape so I rinsed it and got to work.

Here’s what I cleaned using ONE single wipe (and plenty of rinsing). And here’s a picture of the wipe AFTER having done all that work. Notice it held up to a lot of punishment!

1. I scrubbed two kitchen sinks with baking soda
2. I cleaned the grime off our gas range
3. I cleaned off all the nasty dust and grime from the kick board under the cabinets
4. I removed the plastic grate from the bottom of the fridge and washed it off, including washing

If you buy disinfectant wipes, please don’t throw them away after a 5-second counter wipe-down. Rinse it off and find some other nasty cleaning job you can use it for THEN throw it away. You’d never want to use a dish cloth to clean dust and grime, and it is a hassle to keep a separate wash cloth just for the nasty stuff … so using disinfectant wipes is the perfect alternative.

Admit it. Sometimes you are worse than your toddler. When parenting toddlers, I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all, at some point, turned into an adult-sized child. We throw our own tantrums, we nag our kids worse than they nag us, and we act and react based on emotion, no matter how silly it seems later.

Nagging your kids is not the same as raising your voice. I define it as asking your child to do something in a whiny voice. I’m guilty of this too, but if I catch myself doing it I’m able to replace that nasty habit with communication tools that are a lot more effective. I think that most parents are either not aware they are nagging, or they just don’t know what else to do. I want to change that.

In this article, I simply want to point out the behavior so that you are more aware of it when you do it. Then, you can stop what you are doing and implement some better alternatives. There is always a better way.

Parents tend to nag their kids when they are doing something that is not allowed or not desired. “Katie, stop pulling on the dog’s tail … come on Katie … how many times do I have to tell you to leave the dog alone? Katie, the dog doesn’t like it when you do that … do you want him to bite you?” We both know this almost never works.

Parents also nag their kids when they are not doing something that the parent wants them to do. “Robbie, come to the table and eat your lunch. Come on, Robbie … Mommy made you a yummy sandwich and I want you to come sit down right now. Robbie … you can play with your toys after lunch. Come sit down for lunch”.

Between those two examples I’m sure you get the drift. The pattern is almost always the same. You, as a parent, are focused on what you want your child to do, or perhaps to stop doing. You ask once, and nothing happens. Your child ignores you. You ask again, but this time with stronger reasons, hoping your child will suddenly become rational. Rinse and repeat.

When you want to get your child to change his or her course of action, it doesn’t matter how many times you ask. If your child ignored you the first time then he won’t listen the second or third time. Somewhere inside, you know this is true, and you adapt by changing your tone of voice until you are either yelling or nagging. Neither is very effective, both cause you added stress and perhaps worse, they teach your child the same lousy communication strategies. Kids learn from mom and dad, after all.

So what can you do instead? When you catch yourself nagging, just stop for a moment. Reflect on what you are trying to accomplish. Are you expecting a small child to be a rational thinker? It isn’t going to happen. What else can you say to get the message across, or to distract your child from whatever he is doing? A great starting point is to enter your child’s world by incorporating things that will interest your child into the conversation. You could also use what I call “the illusion of choice” so that whatever choice your child takes is in alignment with what you want.

If you’ve purchased a copy of my audio course, “Talking to Toddlers”, then take what you’ve learned and apply it to these types of problems. I believe that parents run into resistance because they stick to a direct “do this” mentality of ordering their kids around. They expect their kids to understand logic and reason. Parenting toddlers is a lot more fun and less stressful when you can use softer, indirect methods to get your kids to do what you want.

The most important thing to take away from this article is the realization that we all nag our kids more than we should. It’s not particularly effective, and if you can stop yourself before you get too deep into it, you’ll easily be able to make use of any number of parenting tricks. Remember. Nothing works when you lose your cool.

If you haven’t already done so, go and get my free audio lesson where I’ll teach you 3 simple language strategies that you can start using right away. Click here to get the free lesson. Or simply look for the sign-up form at the top of this page.

I came across a nice recipe on the “Attachment Mamma” blog. Here’s the description she gives:

A little slice of YUM and something easy and fun to do with toddlers on Christmas: making old-fashioned Christmas sugar cookies. This recipe has been passed down from my late Grandma, Betty Bay to my mom to me.

The cookies she shows in the blog post look like little Santas. Very cool! It’s last minute for 2009, but if you are looking for something fun to do with your toddler, this is a great idea. Keep in mind these are pure sugar/butter/flour so you don’t want to be consuming bus loads of these things … but it is the holidays. Indulge a bit.

Here’s a link to the original post.

Have a wonderful Christmas everyone!

My wife came across this awesome website when we were looking for an online game to help our daughter learn to read. It has all kinds of really cool flash games and spelling activities. I send this out by email to all of my subscribers and I was thrilled to get so many replies from people. Lots of you already knew about it, but way more had never heard of it and thanked me for the suggestions.

Check it out. You’re going to like it.

According to Kristen Baisden, a school district psychologist:

“parents often fail to hold their kids accountable for poor decisions. The result is they often excuse bad behavior, finding it easier to hold others, including themselves, accountable for their children’s irresponsibility.”

I agree with this statement 100%. You don’t need to constantly yell and nag your kids. If you do, you are training them to ignore you.

Here’s a link to the story I’m talking about.

What do you think, people? Agree, disagree?

When I was younger, I used to work as a lifeguard and swimming instructor. It was a great job for me because I loved working with kids all of my life, and I was great at teaching them to swim.

The holidays are fast approaching. I realize different people celebrate different holidays, and even if you don’t celebrate Christmas I think you’ll get something out of this post.

It was Sunday morning and I was home with the kids while my wife was out at her usual workout. We were having breakfast and I put on some Christmas music. My older daughter said to me, “Daddy, can you put on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?”

We play our music from the computer, so I went over to the laptop to check. I didn’t have that song. Two minutes later I had found a great website with LOTS of free Christmas music. Here’s the link. I was able to download Rudolph, and a bunch of other great songs. There are plenty of kid-sung songs also, and I think toddlers, preschoolers and young kids of all sorts will love them. Check it out.

My Favorite Tech Gadget:

I use my computer to play music straight over our home stereo. I have iTunes loaded on all of our machines (both Mac and PC). A few years ago I bought this gadget called an “Airport Express”.

If you keep your music on your computer this is an absolutely must have gadget. The Airport Express plugs into the wall, and is very small. It connects over your Wi-Fi network and lets you play music from any computer (in any room) over to your stereo. It connects to the stereo using a normal left/right (red and white) RCA plug. The cool part is that this gadget now costs less than $100. When I first bought mine I believe it was $199.

The music is transmitted wirelessly, and it’s a digital connection so you are not losing any quality over the air. It’s really a fantastic solution. In my house, we have a laptop near the kitchen and I can just stroll over to it, pick a song, and it comes out the stereo nearby.

So enjoy the holidays that are coming soon! If you celebrate Christmas check out the free music I mentioned above, and consider getting yourself (or your tech-gadget loving spouse) an Airport Express.

Oh, if you own an iPod Touch (or iPhone), you can also use that gadget to remote-control your music and send it directly to the stereo too. That’s another reason to love the Airport Express.