I learned about this from my neighbor down the street. He told me as I was returning from the park with my two girls. My wife was out swimming, of all things, that morning (she does it every weekend). My older daughter heard my neighbor explain something to me and she asked me, “Daddy – what did he say?” I had to explain it to her. Her eyes welled up with tears. I was able to hold mine back for a bit, but not for long. I never want to have to explain something like that to my kids ever again, but I’d much rather they be upset by it, yet understand the danger.

I don’t know the facts around this particular incident, but most likely the toddler slipped into the backyard pool without anyone noticing. It only takes a couple of minutes for a tiny child’s life to be gone forever, and it’s a mistake that most parents could probably never forgive themselves for.

If you have young children, I urge you to take water safety seriously

I want everyone to understand just how easy it is to make a fatal mistake around water. Have you ever had a phone call distract you while playing with your kids? Have you ever day-dreamed while you were 10 feet away only to realize afterwards that you were not paying attention? It happens to parents all the time, but usually not around water. If it were to happen around water, it could be devastating. Heck, I was a lifeguard and swimming teacher yet I know that all of the lifesaving skills on the planet won’t make up for loss of attention.

So here are some massively important water safety rules for parents to keep in mind

Always be watching! If you are around water with your kids do not ever let them out of your sight. Danger is lurking and you are their protector. You are their ONLY protector. At the toddler age they don’t know better. You need to have both eyes on them 100% of the time.

Be aware of the potential for danger. Even if you are not playing in a pool, be aware if you have a pool in your yard. Be aware if you left water in the kiddie pool. You may not be playing around water with your kids, but if there is water around and the kids find it, it can spell disaster. You need to know what danger lies in the vicinity of your children.

Teach them to swim, or have someone else teach them. Children should be taught how to move around in the water as early as possible. As soon as they know how to swim the chance of an accidental drowning drops dramatically. Get your kids in swimming lessons and take them to the water (safely) whenever you can to allow them to learn to master this skill.

Make sure your kids know the danger. As you surely already know, kids don’t always listen to rules. But they do listen to their gut. If they know about the potential danger of water they will stay safe. You need to teach your kids that going in (or around) the water is very dangerous if they don’t have adult supervision. Having them truly understand this is better than just making it a “rule”.

Be a swimmer yourself. If you, the parent, are a non-swimmer, go take lessons yourself. I used to teach adult lessons and believe me, I’ve seen my fair share of adults who are scared of the water. You CAN learn, and you can do so comfortably and easily. If you don’t learn then your kids will see less value in learning how to swim. Don’t allow that to happen!

A life jacket is NOT a babysitter. I can’t emphasize this enough. Parents should never rely on a flotation device to protect their child. Although I agree that a life jacket is safest, because it will roll you onto your back if unconscious, you can never let your child swim unsupervised. Lesser-quality flotation devices include “water wings”, Styrofoam “noodles” or other support rings. Kids can fall off of those flotation aids easily. You need to be within arm’s reach of your child whenever they are in the water. That means, generally speaking, that you need to be in the water with them at all times.

Please take these “rules” seriously. I am quite sure that the parents of this little girl, who drowned in the backyard, did not realize the danger she was in. Perhaps they didn’t even know she was in the backyard. That’s the problem with danger. It strikes first, and you only understand it later. Don’t let that happen to your kids. Don’t let ignorance ruin your life. Water safety is a VERY serious topic.

To safety,
Chris Thompson

The name of the meal is “Muesli” and it’s made from yogurt and oats, mostly. It’s so simple to make, but tastes incredible. Feel free to change this recipe any number of ways to suit your family.

To get the best possible result, I suggest making it the night before. That way everything soaks together in the fridge. The recipe I’m giving you is for one portion, so just scale it up to make more portions. You’ll probably want to eat this too!

Start by adding 1/3 cup of oats into a bowl. Rolled oats don’t cost very much, but they are really healthy for you. Unlike many flours, they are not processed.

Now add about 1/3 cup of natural yogurt. Use plain (unsweetened) yogurt because flavored yogurt always has sugar in it. We want to avoid sugar. I prefer organic yogurt. It doesn’t cost that much more.

Now add in one tablespoon of natural honey. You can always use maple syrup if you prefer. Both of these sweeteners are totally natural and are much better than table sugar or brown sugar. Stay away from those alternatives.

Then pile in the fruit. I always like to choose fresh blueberries and finely chopped apple. If you are able to use organic fruit, all the better. Otherwise make sure to wash it well because most fruit is treated with pesticides. I like to use about 2/3 of a cup of fruit in total.

The next ingredient is Cinnamon. You decide on the quantity, but one teaspoon is a good starting point. I like to use a lot of it for the flavor. Cinnamon is known to help your body control blood sugar levels. This is important in a society of obesity and, increasingly, diabetes. Cinnamon is helpful and tasty.

Finally, before you put the whole thing in your fridge for the night, add some milk. About 1/3 of a cup is probably the right amount, but you decide based on the consistency you want to achieve. If you can use organic milk, I recommend you do.

Think of all the ways you can modify this recipe! What about adding pumpkin seeds, or unsweetened coconut slices? Maybe some finely ground flax seed? You can buy flax seeds in bulk and grind them up in a cheap coffee grinder.

Feeding your kids a healthy diet is important. Recipes like this can help you set a good example for them.

I don’t normally publish recipes on my blog. If you’re new here you might also be interested in checking out my Talking to Toddlers audio course. This course helps parents overcome the stress of dealing with difficult toddlers.

My youngest daughters was a great example of this behavior. I remember when she was about 3 years old. She would wake up early and I’d take her downstairs to have breakfast together. She’d tell me she wanted cereal for breakfast, so I’d get out the Cheerios. Then she’d tell me, “No I want Raisin Bran”. After I switched cereals, I grabbed her a bowl. In a very whinny toddler voice she’d say, “No I want the yellow bowl, not the orange one” How can you ever win?

In the beginning I wasn’t worried about this. It was no big deal, and it wasn’t worth a fight. But soon afterward I realized I was going to have to show her how to make her own decisions and how to be responsible for her own choices. After I came to that realization, I started making her do things for herself if she changed her mind.

As a simple example, say she told me that she really didn’t want the orange bowl. I’d just say to her, “That’s fine sweetie – just go to the drawer and get whatever bowl you want, and put this one back”. If she really wanted to make a change it was now up to her. Sure, she fussed about this at first, because she wanted me to do it for her. I just pushed the responsibility back to her politely.

Children want parents to do things for them. They test the boundaries and they want to see how much influence they can have over Mom and Dad. Instead of getting angry at these tests, just realize that they are a normal part of growing up. It’s so much easier to just show them how to take action to solve their own problems.

Always keep in mind that children will get upset if you say “No” right to their face. It can really be easier to say “I see – you want a different color bowl? No problem, here’s where you can go to get it by yourself” When you do this you’re presenting a solution

Sometimes parents won’t offer solutions. They just seem to put up roadblocks. They say “No, I won’t get you another bowl”. I suggest that when you have a conflict with your young kids, you offer them solutions rather than roadblocks. This forces them to take responsibility for adopting the solution.

Toddlers and young kids will push the boundaries as a part of their learning experience. If you understand that this is a normal process, you’ll find it much easier to redirect the conflict towards teaching them how to solve their own problems.

Chris Thompson is the creator of the Talking to Toddlers audio course for parents. He shows parents how to use language to reduce parenting stress. Listen instantly to his free lesson on raising toddlers.

Why Should I be Worried That My Toddler Drinks Too Much Juice?

If you’re not already convinced that drinking too much juice is a bad thing, you need to stop and simply think about how much fruit is required in order to make a glass of juice. It actually takes about 4 oranges to get this amount of juice. Fruit is great, but cramming such a hefty amount of it into your stomach all at once is not such a good idea.

Not only is your child consuming far too much fruit at one time, but when you drink juice (rather than eat fruit), the sugar passes to the intestines and is absorbed into the bloodstream much faster than if you just sat down and ate some fruit.

The sugar in fruit juice is called fructose, and just because it comes from a fruit doesn’t make it “healthy”. Sugar causes the body to release a massive surge of insulin, and the insulin works to remove sugar from the bloodstream. The sugar goes away, the insulin lingers, and you’re left with a not-so good feeling in your body. Ever wonder if this contributes to toddler behavior problems?

Simply put, I sincerely believe that fruit juice consumption should be limited to a half glass per day in kids. If they want more, give them actual fruit. Cut up apples, pears, or other fruit and have them snack on that along with fresh vegetables such as celery, carrots, etc.

A Great Fruit Juice Replacement

It’s called … WATER. Yes I’m serious, but I think there’s a great way to “spruce it up” so that it is more interesting for your child. You can show them this “treat” and make it exciting for them so they ask for it.

Here’s what you do. Take about a teaspoonful of lemon juice from concentrate. That’s about a cap full if you buy it by the bottle. Mix the lemon juice with a splash of fruit juice such as OJ or Apple Juice. I mean just a splash for flavor. Then, add a couple of ice cubes and top up the cup with fresh cold water.

Regular water is great – and you should encourage your kids to drink plenty of it. But for something special, this easy recipe adds some natural flavor to the water while severely limiting the amount of sugar in the drink.

One of my pet peeves is when people write advice about what not to do, but they don’t give you any useful suggestions on how to replace the old habit. So let me expand upon this statement. Let’s pretend that your toddler or preschooler is messing around in the kitchen and is dragging pots and pans out of the cabinet. You know that you’ll have to clean this up. You want the behavior to stop. Be honest now. In this situation, would you normally just tell your child to “stop” and take them out of the kitchen? If you answered “yes”, then you’ve tried to solve the problem by using logic, or by assuming your child will understand that this behavior is not allowed. Guess what? It almost always results in a tantrum.

So what do you do instead of using logic? Start managing your toddler’s state of mind. Change the focus of his or her attention. Use distraction or confusion techniques to create an opportunity to shift your child to a new activity. There are plenty of ways to deal with toddlers that don’t involve rational explanations or logic.

Here’s a quick way to get your toddler out of a messy situation without a fight. First, enter the child’s world. Say, “I see you are playing with these pots and making a lot of nose. That must be a lot of fun!” Next, start to distract your child with something simple such as a tickle and some laughing. This positions you in positive manner, not as the mother or father about to take away the toys. Finally, change the scenery by carrying your child over to the window and pointing out something interesting. Maybe it’s the squirrel climbing in the tree. Maybe an airplane flying overhead? Young kids have a short attention span. All you need to do is be a bit “sneaky” in changing your child’s focus while maintaining a positive state of mind. Then, following the distraction, give them something new to do.

In nearly every instance, tantrums and bad behavior are the result of a certain (negative) emotional state in your child. If you want to change the behavior, you need to change the emotional state first. Language is a powerful asset that parents can use to steer children into resourceful states. After all, kids don’t tend to misbehave or throw tantrums when they are laughing and smiling.

If you’d like to learn more of these simple and powerful communication strategies, simply visit http://TalkingToToddlers.com

As parents, we all run into the occasional night where are toddlers or kids resist bedtime.

They just don’t want to go to sleep, and even if we have a routine established, they put up a fuss. If you had a bad day and are short tempered, you can easily let it turn into a fight with your kids. If you are more relaxed about it and flexible with your thinking, you can often just turn the situation around before it ever evolves into something difficult.

Remember that kids just want to do things that they deem fun, comforting, or somehow satisfying. As a parent, if you get resistance from your child, you can turn that into co-operation if you transform what you are doing into something that is more fun, more comforting, or more satisfying.

Here’s a recent example. My oldest daughter was watching Berstein Bears in our bedroom during “quiet time” before bed. My wife had already taken my youngest daughter off to brush teeth and cuddle, and I was giving my older daughter another 15 minutes. When the cartoon ended, I told her it was time for bed, as usual. She put up a whiny fuss about it and I knew I had to change the direction of the situation right away, or I’d risk a tantrum. At the very least, it would just set the wrong tone for bedtime and it would take longer to get her settled.

What I did: I was standing at the edge of the bed telling her it was time for bed, and I had the remote in my hand to turn off the TV. If I simply turned it off, I risked killing our rapport and turning the whining into a big fight. So I playfully tossed the remote onto the mattress beside her. She knows how to hit the “off” button so I gave her a little challenge. I told her, “Ok sweetie … I’m going to give you a 20 second head start and then I’m going to crawl over to the TV and I’m going to turn it off. I wonder if you’ll beat me to it.”

I started (again, playfully) counting to 20. By the time I got to 4 she was into it and didn’t want to wait. She said, “Daddy – just go, start crawling.” I did exactly that. I got onto the floor and started creeping over to the TV like I was some kind of lion or tiger. I got halfway there when she turned the TV off and declared victory. I laughed, she laughed, and I carried her off to bed like the little princess that she is.

The whole “fuss” lasted all of 10 seconds. I didn’t negotiate with her or demand instant compliance with my wishes. That’s not the right way to handle it. It’s much easier, in my experience, to create a more compelling reason for her to want to go along with the routine. I just turned it into a game and that seemed more fun than a cartoon. I knew it would work (or at least I had a pretty good feeling it would) because we play games all the time. So I’m not telling you that this will work for you exactly as I’ve described it. Use your own instincts. But the same principles apply.

You can get more flies with honey than with vinegar … that’s what my Mom always used to tell me. Boy, was she smart.

Let me share a little secret with you. Parents almost always forget to ask questions, therefore missing an opportunity to gather important information. Asking a few simple questions to your toddler or young child will often solve problems.

Here’s an example from my own life. My youngest daughter was just shy of her third birthday. We had finished “quiet time” in Mommy and Daddy’s room, watching some cartoon shows together before bed. The kids knew the routine well. 7pm rolls around and it’s bedtime. First we brush teeth, and then we go snuggle together and read books.

When I said, “OK – time to go brush your teeth”, my daughter looked at me and said, “No, I don’t want to brush my teeth”. I began to explain to her that we’d snuggle and read books only after she brushed, but I could see she was already starting to tear up. Something was not normal about this.

I think that in most child/parent scenarios, this would have turned into a tantrum, and nobody would have been happy. But I knew the power of asking questions. So I asked a very simple question. “Sweetie, what is it that you don’t like about brushing your teeth?”

You know what she said to me? I would never have expected this reply. She said, “I don’t like the toothpaste”. She said it with a hint of fear, as if brushing her teeth was an act that forced her to taste something awful. Immediately I remembered that we had just bought the kids a new tube of toothpaste. It was different than what we normally used. Obviously, she didn’t approve – but she hadn’t said anything before this moment.

I put my arm around her and said, “Oh – I understand … you are telling me that you don’t like the toothpaste. That’s ok. We don’t have to use that toothpaste. We can just brush with water tonight. No toothpaste. We can go to the store together and get you a new toothpaste that you’ll like”.

If you are thinking that I’m just a big softie, think again. There is no reason that I feel compelled to force my kid to brush with toothpaste that she hates. If I hated my own toothpaste, I’d throw it away and buy a new brand. Why treat her with any less respect? This isn’t prison.

In the end, she was completely happy to brush her teeth, just not with that particular brand of paste. I got her to bed with no fights, no crying, and plenty of hugs.

The most powerful lessons in life are often very simple. In this case, the lesson is to ask good questions. If your toddler doesn’t want to eat something, ask what it is about it they don’t like. If your child won’t wear a particular piece of clothing that you’re trying to dress him in, ask what he doesn’t like about it. You might just be surprised to find out that the food gets stuck in his teeth, or the shirt has a tag that itches the back of his neck. If you don’t ask, you’ll never know.

To discover more powerful language strategies that result in better child behavior, check out my audio course, Talking to Toddlers

How many times are you out shopping for groceries, and when you get in line your toddler becomes bored, and you wish you had something to keep him or her busy. Or how about Saturday morning … you just can’t seem to EVER have time to talk to your spouse while you both enjoy a hot cup of coffee! You know what I’m talking about! Your kids are asking for things constantly, and by the time you remember you had that cup of coffee waiting for you on the counter, it’s cold. Microwave time. Yuk.

The guys over at Zeebu Mobile came up with a really cool solution. Baby GO (free version) and Super Baby GO ($3.99) keeps your toddler occupied. You fire up the game, and give your BlackBerry to your child. No need to worry – they won’t be able to email your boss, or delete calendar appointments. The only keys that work while the game is active are numbers / letters.

The game is really simple – which is also why it is so effective. Kids press keys, and block letters or numbers appear along with a child’s voice recording, dictating the name of the character.

Head on over to BlackBerry App World to download it. The free version is … well … FREE. The paid version, should you choose to upgrade, is really quite cheap.

You’ll be thanking me for recommending this (and the folks at Zeebu for making it)

Now go enjoy that hot cup of coffee.

As usual on Sundays, I woke up to the sound of my kids playing at the foot of my bed. This is a pretty common experience for me. They either hop into bed and ask me to turn on the TV, or they just play quietly in the bedroom. My wife heads out early to go swimming on Sundays, so it’s just me and the kids.

Soon after we wake up, it’s breakfast time. My youngest daughter has grown quite fond of Cottage Cheese. On this Sunday morning she asked for Cottage Cheese for breakfast (along with some fruit), and so it was. I gave it to her. Hey, it’s better than Count Chocula, or whatever other crap cereals I always asked for when I was a kid!

My older daughter was digging through the cupboards after finishing her oatmeal. She found these nasty candies that one of our relatives bought for them the week before. They were purple wristbands made from that gummy-worm material. They come neatly wrapped up in individual packaging. There were two left. She grabbed them and said, “Daddy, can we eat these?”.

My youngest stopped eating her Cottage Cheese and agreed with her sister “Yeah, Daddy can we have those right now?”.

My goal was to avoid a fight, while having to explain to my daughter that she needs to finish her breakfast first. My secondary goal was to distract them from the fact that there were two candies … and have them share one. These things were gross, and I really didn’t wanna feed them the sugar.

Here’s what I said to my younger daughter. Notice the way the language is worded? It’s not a proper sentence. This is known as “punctuational ambiguity”. This is done on purpose.

“You can eat that after how many bites of Cottage Cheese are left?”

The second portion of what I said … the question part, is what I emphasized with my tone. The kids heard the first part, so there was no fight. But they *really* heard the second part, which was a direct question.

I got my youngest to guess how many bites she had left. Then I got my oldest to count as she took the remaining bites, turning it into a game that involved both kids. The result? No fight … and she ate her breakfast completely.

Now onto the nasty candy. The first thing I did was present the idea of sharing ONE of the candies rather than opening both. I did this by reframing the meaning of sharing. Normally kids would think, “Well, I only get half the candy”. To avoid this I simply suggested that we put one candy away for later, and that we “cut this one into two pieces … that way you get to eat a piece now and you’ll still have the other candy to eat later”. It worked, but primarily because I was really congruent with my delivery. If I had not been “sold” on it with my body language, they would have seen right through me.

The next thing I did was to use a series of “binds” … or what I refer to as the illusion of choice.

“Do you want me to cut it with scissors, or a knife”

“Do you want a purple half, or a purple half” … this was just a joke to get them to laugh.

“Do you want *this* purple half, or *this* purple half” (getting each daughter to choose her piece).

Having them make these selections creates consistency, and essentially eliminates their ability to change their mind. It’s a simple psychological tactic.

The outcome was exactly what I hoped for. It doesn’t always work as easily as this, but most times it does. I had to be quick on my toes, understand what language patterns to use, and be congruent about them when I delivered them.

Parents: My audio program contains nearly 3 hours of lessons that you can start using right away to reduce your parenting stress. Click here to check out the Talking to Toddlers audio course.

I’m sure most parents can relate that once kids eat something they enjoy, they tend to want to eat it at every meal. Well – my kids at least. Needless to say, I am tired of pizza.

The other day my kids were complaining about their lunch. They didn’t want to eat it because it was boring. It got me thinking about – pizza.

The next day, I decided it was time to get creative and give in to my kids demand for pizza. I said, “kids ,today for lunch, we are having pizza”. Their faces lit up. Then I said “peanut butter pizza that is”. They stared at me in amazement. I had sparked some curiosity on their end.

I asked my eldest to get out some pita bread, peanut butter and jam from the fridge. We spread a thin layer of peanut butter over the individual portion sized pita bread. I asked them what toppings they wanted on each of their pizzas. The kids put banana slices, dabs of jam and blueberries.

Not only were my kids happy they got to pick out their own toppings, they discovered they could make funny faces on the pizza and get really creative in the process. This was a win-win situation. They picked out their lunch, ate it, and I got to try something new.

You can make almost any meal like pizza. The next time you want to have fun with food, try using cream cheese, cut up cucumbers and tomatoes. No rules, and all fun.

I like to eat healthy. It is very important that my kids eat a balanced diet. It is also important that my kids agree or by into our family eating habits. My kids like to feel apart of the decision making process, especially where food is concerned. Get creative, let the kids lend a hand in the kitchen. Sometimes it is the simple things in life that give the greatest pleasure.

If you’ve got a new spin on an old meal, I’d love to have you throw your comments below.