Tonight, just after dinner, we were all upstairs in the master bedroom and the kids had our TV on for some quiet time. Except they weren’t quiet yet. They were a bit excited, and making plenty of noise.

I hardly ever mind the noise, except that my wife and I were trying to have a conversation. She was washing her face in the bathroom and I was only 6 feet away with the kids, beside the bed. My wife was trying to say something, but it was literally impossible to hear her.

I asked the kids, politely, to “listen to Mommy”, but it didn’t work. Pretty normal so far, right? Yes. But this is where my style starts to divert from the “normal” way of dealing with kids. Read the rest of this entry

Hey, I'm Chris Thompson. I help stressed-out parents deal with toddlers. Grab the free lesson I've prepared for you. You'll love it. Email:

If you’ve got kids in your house then you probably feel like you are always cleaning. I know that my wife and I feel this way!

This morning I was cleaning the kitchen. I’ve lately become more critical of all the junk that people buy, which creates waste. With cleaning supplies, I really prefer to keep it simple and not buy products that are built for one purpose. I prefer vinegar to clean surfaces, floors, etc. I like to use baking soda to scrub sinks, and stuff like that.

But we still have disposable stuff like those oh-so-popular disinfectant wipes. With so many people worried about Swine Flu and other germs, I bet we’re in good company. My wife loves to buy these things to clean counter tops, etc. Then they get thrown away. I’ve included a picture here of the brand we buy from Costco.

After we finish using the wipe to disinfect a surface, I have started to re-use them for the nasty, dirty jobs around the house..

Today, for example, I grabbed the “used” wipe after my wife was finished cleaning the counter. It was still in perfect shape so I rinsed it and got to work.

Here’s what I cleaned using ONE single wipe (and plenty of rinsing). And here’s a picture of the wipe AFTER having done all that work. Notice it held up to a lot of punishment!

1. I scrubbed two kitchen sinks with baking soda
2. I cleaned the grime off our gas range
3. I cleaned off all the nasty dust and grime from the kick board under the cabinets
4. I removed the plastic grate from the bottom of the fridge and washed it off, including washing

If you buy disinfectant wipes, please don’t throw them away after a 5-second counter wipe-down. Rinse it off and find some other nasty cleaning job you can use it for THEN throw it away. You’d never want to use a dish cloth to clean dust and grime, and it is a hassle to keep a separate wash cloth just for the nasty stuff … so using disinfectant wipes is the perfect alternative.

Admit it. Sometimes you are worse than your toddler. When parenting toddlers, I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all, at some point, turned into an adult-sized child. We throw our own tantrums, we nag our kids worse than they nag us, and we act and react based on emotion, no matter how silly it seems later.

Nagging your kids is not the same as raising your voice. I define it as asking your child to do something in a whiny voice. I’m guilty of this too, but if I catch myself doing it I’m able to replace that nasty habit with communication tools that are a lot more effective. I think that most parents are either not aware they are nagging, or they just don’t know what else to do. I want to change that.

In this article, I simply want to point out the behavior so that you are more aware of it when you do it. Then, you can stop what you are doing and implement some better alternatives. There is always a better way.

Parents tend to nag their kids when they are doing something that is not allowed or not desired. “Katie, stop pulling on the dog’s tail … come on Katie … how many times do I have to tell you to leave the dog alone? Katie, the dog doesn’t like it when you do that … do you want him to bite you?” We both know this almost never works.

Parents also nag their kids when they are not doing something that the parent wants them to do. “Robbie, come to the table and eat your lunch. Come on, Robbie … Mommy made you a yummy sandwich and I want you to come sit down right now. Robbie … you can play with your toys after lunch. Come sit down for lunch”.

Between those two examples I’m sure you get the drift. The pattern is almost always the same. You, as a parent, are focused on what you want your child to do, or perhaps to stop doing. You ask once, and nothing happens. Your child ignores you. You ask again, but this time with stronger reasons, hoping your child will suddenly become rational. Rinse and repeat.

When you want to get your child to change his or her course of action, it doesn’t matter how many times you ask. If your child ignored you the first time then he won’t listen the second or third time. Somewhere inside, you know this is true, and you adapt by changing your tone of voice until you are either yelling or nagging. Neither is very effective, both cause you added stress and perhaps worse, they teach your child the same lousy communication strategies. Kids learn from mom and dad, after all.

So what can you do instead? When you catch yourself nagging, just stop for a moment. Reflect on what you are trying to accomplish. Are you expecting a small child to be a rational thinker? It isn’t going to happen. What else can you say to get the message across, or to distract your child from whatever he is doing? A great starting point is to enter your child’s world by incorporating things that will interest your child into the conversation. You could also use what I call “the illusion of choice” so that whatever choice your child takes is in alignment with what you want.

If you’ve purchased a copy of my audio course, “Talking to Toddlers”, then take what you’ve learned and apply it to these types of problems. I believe that parents run into resistance because they stick to a direct “do this” mentality of ordering their kids around. They expect their kids to understand logic and reason. Parenting toddlers is a lot more fun and less stressful when you can use softer, indirect methods to get your kids to do what you want.

The most important thing to take away from this article is the realization that we all nag our kids more than we should. It’s not particularly effective, and if you can stop yourself before you get too deep into it, you’ll easily be able to make use of any number of parenting tricks. Remember. Nothing works when you lose your cool.

If you haven’t already done so, go and get my free audio lesson where I’ll teach you 3 simple language strategies that you can start using right away. Click here to get the free lesson. Or simply look for the sign-up form at the top of this page.

I came across a nice recipe on the “Attachment Mamma” blog. Here’s the description she gives:

A little slice of YUM and something easy and fun to do with toddlers on Christmas: making old-fashioned Christmas sugar cookies. This recipe has been passed down from my late Grandma, Betty Bay to my mom to me.

The cookies she shows in the blog post look like little Santas. Very cool! It’s last minute for 2009, but if you are looking for something fun to do with your toddler, this is a great idea. Keep in mind these are pure sugar/butter/flour so you don’t want to be consuming bus loads of these things … but it is the holidays. Indulge a bit.

Here’s a link to the original post.

Have a wonderful Christmas everyone!

My wife came across this awesome website when we were looking for an online game to help our daughter learn to read. It has all kinds of really cool flash games and spelling activities. I send this out by email to all of my subscribers and I was thrilled to get so many replies from people. Lots of you already knew about it, but way more had never heard of it and thanked me for the suggestions.

Check it out. You’re going to like it.

According to Kristen Baisden, a school district psychologist:

“parents often fail to hold their kids accountable for poor decisions. The result is they often excuse bad behavior, finding it easier to hold others, including themselves, accountable for their children’s irresponsibility.”

I agree with this statement 100%. You don’t need to constantly yell and nag your kids. If you do, you are training them to ignore you.

Here’s a link to the story I’m talking about.

What do you think, people? Agree, disagree?

When I was younger, I used to work as a lifeguard and swimming instructor. It was a great job for me because I loved working with kids all of my life, and I was great at teaching them to swim.

This post is more personal, and not so much about parenting.  But since this is supposed to be a parenting blog, the topic fits into the category of setting a good example for your kids to follow.

I have established a short term goal of losing 7 pounds of body fat.

Let me give you some background here.  I’m not overweight, and most people who hear this goal tell me I don’t “need” to lose any weight.  I am 5 foot 10 inches tall, and when I step on the scale it says 167 lbs.  I fit into pants with a 32″ waist (but they are more snug now).  I’m much more active and fit than the average 35 year old male.

But I definitely don’t have the physique that I used to even 5 years ago.  This is because I’ve relaxed my own healthy habits.  It has nothing to do with my actual ability to regain that physical condition.

A few words about “need”

When people say “Chris, you don’t need to lose weight”, I reframe their comment so they understand where I’m coming from.  I focus on the word “need”.  I often say to them that I don’t “need” to get regular haircuts, and I don’t “need” to exercise.  I don’t “need” to eat healthy.  I don’t “need” to be productive each day.  Instead, I could just let my hair grow to the floor, never shave or bathe, eat garbage food, sit on the coach and expand my waist.

Start thinking about what you want rather than what you need.

My motto is to constantly be improving.  I like to push myself in a healthy and fun way.  The result of this, from a physical perspective, is that I feel proud when I look in the mirror.  My wife tells me I look great.  I feel better.  I feel energetic after running up the stairs.  It’s a nice feeling.  I still have that feeling today, but it’s not as strong as it was a few years ago.

Setting an example for the kids

It’s also important to set a great example of health for your kids.  So with that in mind, I felt like writing this post to describe how I plan to accomplish my goal of getting back to 160 lbs (and regaining the full six-pack), while involving my kids.

I’ll be eating more fruit and vegetables. My kids will see this and I’ll make sure to point out to them why I’m eating these things as snacks between meals, etc.  My plan is to consume 6 cups of fruit and vegetables (combined).

When I say “cup”, I mean approximately a serving.  So if I eat an apple, that’s a cup.  Same with a banana, a pear, a couple of kiwis, a couple slices of cantaloupe, or a handful of strawberries.  Fruit is a fantastic source of nutrients, fiber, and water.  I always feel refreshed after eating fruit.
I’ll be stretching and breathing every evening. This will happen after dinner, and before we put the kids to sleep.  I used to do this with my oldest daughter, before we had the second.  I’d like to re-introduce this habit into our lives.  The kids like to copy me, so I’ll simply have them copy me doing stretches and some deep breathing.  It’s very relaxing before bedtime.

I’ll start acting more like a kid. Isn’t it funny how kids are so thin, yet adults build up all that excess body fat?  Did you ever notice that kids actually move around more?  Gee, you think this might be connected?  I’ve fallen into the trap of sitting on my behind more often.  I sit on the couch and drink coffee on a Saturday morning.  I tell myself “I’m still tired”.  I use it as an excuse to stay seated.  No more.  I’m going to go back to being a kid.  That means playing with the kids, just like I’m one of them.  It’s way more fun and it’s much healthier.

Target:  4 weeks

These changes, and a slightly more rigorous workout routine, will probably result in my goal being achieved within about 4 weeks.  That’s October 20th or so.  When I hit my goal you can expect me to make another blog post about it, or to at least come back and comment under this post.

Stay healthy and enjoy your children,
Chris Thompson

When my wife and I take the kids for a day in the sun, we always put sunscreen on ourselves and on the kids.  We are not paranoid about the sun like some people.  We believe sun is entirely healthy.  But there are safe limits to everything, and the positive impact of Vitamin D production is easily offset if you burn your skin.

So how do you get sunscreen on your wiggle-worm kids?  Michelle has a fantastic idea.  She wrote about her idea on her blog. The concept is to put goggles on the kids first, and then spray them head to toe.  Awesome idea!  I’ll have to take her advice.

Enjoy your children,

Chris Thompson

It’s really not that strange to discover that your preschooler won’t listen to you when  you’re asking him or her to do something, or to stop doing something, or to simply pay attention to you.  So what’s the fundamental problem?  Usually it comes down to entering your child’s world.

If your preschooler won’t listen and you’d like to change this behavior, then you need to learn how to build instant rapport with your child.  Instead of barking orders, start with a question that you know will engage and interest your preschooler.  Then subtly shift the discussion towards your request.

Kids react to emotional states the same way adults do.  If your preschooler won’t listen to you when you ask him to clean up his toys, it’s probably because he associates the clean up ritual to the end of having fun, or to the start of something unpleasant (such as having to go to bed).  Parents need to replace the unpleasant association with something the child looks forward to.  If clean up time is always followed by bedtime, and your preschooler doesn’t like bedtime, then it’s no wonder your preschooler won’t listen to you!

For more detailed strategies to overcome this, sign up for a free audio lesson. You can also head on over to learn more about my Talking to Toddlers Audio Course.