Parents should care about what they feed their kids. But they also want something that is easy to prepare. Breakfast is an important part of the day. Most parents feed their children too much junk food including processed flour and sugar. Here is a way to avoid that. Read the rest of this entry
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Hey, I'm Chris Thompson.I help stressed-out parents deal with toddlers.
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If you’ve got kids in your house then you probably feel like you are always cleaning. I know that my wife and I feel this way!
This morning I was cleaning the kitchen. I’ve lately become more critical of all the junk that people buy, which creates waste. With cleaning supplies, I really prefer to keep it simple and not buy products that are built for one purpose. I prefer vinegar to clean surfaces, floors, etc. I like to use baking soda to scrub sinks, and stuff like that.
But we still have disposable stuff like those oh-so-popular disinfectant wipes. With so many people worried about Swine Flu and other germs, I bet we’re in good company. My wife loves to buy these things to clean counter tops, etc. Then they get thrown away. I’ve included a picture here of the brand we buy from Costco.
After we finish using the wipe to disinfect a surface, I have started to re-use them for the nasty, dirty jobs around the house..
Today, for example, I grabbed the “used” wipe after my wife was finished cleaning the counter. It was still in perfect shape so I rinsed it and got to work.
Here’s what I cleaned using ONE single wipe (and plenty of rinsing). And here’s a picture of the wipe AFTER having done all that work. Notice it held up to a lot of punishment!
If you buy disinfectant wipes, please don’t throw them away after a 5-second counter wipe-down. Rinse it off and find some other nasty cleaning job you can use it for THEN throw it away. You’d never want to use a dish cloth to clean dust and grime, and it is a hassle to keep a separate wash cloth just for the nasty stuff … so using disinfectant wipes is the perfect alternative.
This post is more personal, and not so much about parenting. But since this is supposed to be a parenting blog, the topic fits into the category of setting a good example for your kids to follow.
Let me give you some background here. I’m not overweight, and most people who hear this goal tell me I don’t “need” to lose any weight. I am 5 foot 10 inches tall, and when I step on the scale it says 167 lbs. I fit into pants with a 32″ waist (but they are more snug now). I’m much more active and fit than the average 35 year old male.
But I definitely don’t have the physique that I used to even 5 years ago. This is because I’ve relaxed my own healthy habits. It has nothing to do with my actual ability to regain that physical condition.
When people say “Chris, you don’t need to lose weight”, I reframe their comment so they understand where I’m coming from. I focus on the word “need”. I often say to them that I don’t “need” to get regular haircuts, and I don’t “need” to exercise. I don’t “need” to eat healthy. I don’t “need” to be productive each day. Instead, I could just let my hair grow to the floor, never shave or bathe, eat garbage food, sit on the coach and expand my waist.
My motto is to constantly be improving. I like to push myself in a healthy and fun way. The result of this, from a physical perspective, is that I feel proud when I look in the mirror. My wife tells me I look great. I feel better. I feel energetic after running up the stairs. It’s a nice feeling. I still have that feeling today, but it’s not as strong as it was a few years ago.
It’s also important to set a great example of health for your kids. So with that in mind, I felt like writing this post to describe how I plan to accomplish my goal of getting back to 160 lbs (and regaining the full six-pack), while involving my kids.
I’ll be eating more fruit and vegetables. My kids will see this and I’ll make sure to point out to them why I’m eating these things as snacks between meals, etc. My plan is to consume 6 cups of fruit and vegetables (combined).
When I say “cup”, I mean approximately a serving. So if I eat an apple, that’s a cup. Same with a banana, a pear, a couple of kiwis, a couple slices of cantaloupe, or a handful of strawberries. Fruit is a fantastic source of nutrients, fiber, and water. I always feel refreshed after eating fruit.
I’ll be stretching and breathing every evening. This will happen after dinner, and before we put the kids to sleep. I used to do this with my oldest daughter, before we had the second. I’d like to re-introduce this habit into our lives. The kids like to copy me, so I’ll simply have them copy me doing stretches and some deep breathing. It’s very relaxing before bedtime.
I’ll start acting more like a kid. Isn’t it funny how kids are so thin, yet adults build up all that excess body fat? Did you ever notice that kids actually move around more? Gee, you think this might be connected? I’ve fallen into the trap of sitting on my behind more often. I sit on the couch and drink coffee on a Saturday morning. I tell myself “I’m still tired”. I use it as an excuse to stay seated. No more. I’m going to go back to being a kid. That means playing with the kids, just like I’m one of them. It’s way more fun and it’s much healthier.
These changes, and a slightly more rigorous workout routine, will probably result in my goal being achieved within about 4 weeks. That’s October 20th or so. When I hit my goal you can expect me to make another blog post about it, or to at least come back and comment under this post.
Stay healthy and enjoy your children,
Chris Thompson
I read a story dealing with the terrible twos this morning. A study released back in 1996 apparently concluded that the terrible twos are caused by parents. The article suggested that different “asset and liabilities” such as personality traits, economic status, social support and work-related stress were the biggest factors in determining if kids would go through the “terrible twos”.
In some ways I agree, but in other ways I disagree. Let me explain. First of all, I think that all kids go through a period of ‘testing the waters’. They push boundaries. They ask for things that they know they can’t have. No matter *what* you do as a parent you are not going to stop a child from pushing the boundaries. It is part of growth. It is expected and healthy. Yes, it is healthy.
But – how you *deal* with it as a parent is totally within your control. Unfortunately kids do not come with instruction manuals. What I’ve discovered is that using language strategies can solve most of the daily problems that parents run into. If you easily get frustrated with your child, or if you constantly tell your child “no” to things then you are literally asking for tantrums and other so-called “bad behavior”. On the other hand, if you learn how to apply distraction techniques, create the illusion of choice, manage your child’s emotional state, or reframe situations by changing their definition (among many other tools I teach), then you’ll end up avoiding these problems. Your kids (and you) will smile more often and you’ll have less parenting stress.
Click on the link here to get a free audio lesson where I’ll teach you 3 simple techniques you can start using right now.
Lots of parents wonder how to get their kids to transition from a crib to a toddler bed. It usually happens around the age of two, but sometimes a bit later.
I’m going to provide a series of tips to help you get your toddler adjusted to a bed rather than a crib. But before I do, let’s talk about why your toddler might resist this transition. It’s pretty simple. People tend to resist change. Once we are comfortable with something the way it is, we don’t like to change it. Toddler behavior tends to align with this basic rule of life.
Change will be accepted by a person when:
Obviously option #1 is the best approach to use with children because it creates no disruption. It’s like offering a child a chocolate cookie for dessert instead of a stick of celery. They will go for it instantly with no hesitation. To get a toddler into a toddler bed, your goal should be to associate lots of positive attributes to the bed.
In the case of switching to a toddler bed, Options 2 and 3 on the above list are essentially the same. You are taking away choice (i.e. you are taking away the crib) and the next best solution is the toddler bed. Specifically, you are taking away the crib without getting agreement from your child. This can cause your child to be upset, but eventually he or she will get over it and the toddler bed becomes a new pattern.
So how can parents get toddlers to willingly switch to a toddler bed? Here are a bunch of ideas for you to try out:
If these tricks still don’t work, then you have to resort to taking away the option of a crib altogether. But remember – you don’t need to rush this! You might bring on a screaming fit if your child suddenly finds his crib gone, and a toddler bed in its place. That’s why I think introducing the bed by the crib side makes for an easier transition.
When and if you have to take away the crib, I highly recommend the “it’s broken” excuse. With our first daughter, we were not only moving her into a big girl bed, but also into a new bedroom! We told her the crib was broken. We took the mattress out and put it on the floor of her new room beside her new bed. We let her choose where to sleep. She picked the mattress on the floor, but was curious about the new bed. We let her play on the new bed and lie down on it if she felt like it. We read books together on the new bed. Whenever she asked about her crib we told her it was broken. No arguments.
Within 2 weeks she was sleeping in her new bed. The clincher was this: we took her to the pet store and showed her all of the fish. We bought a small aquarium kit with some pretty (but cheap) tropical fish. We placed the aquarium on her dresser, which could only be seen if she lied in her new bed, not from the mattress on the floor. We cuddled on the new bed at night with the aquarium light on. She loved watching the fish as she fell asleep. It worked perfectly.
If you want to be able to understand how to solve these kinds of problems, check out the Talking To Toddlers Audio Course.
Enjoy your children,
Chris Thompson
I’m writing this post during the week between Christmas and New Years, with no access to the Internet, so it will be published when I get home. Every year at this time, our family goes up north to my in-law’s cottage on a small lake. It’s a really great cottage to vacation at, and I’m lucky to have such great in-laws who share this little slice of heaven with us pretty much as often as we like.
You know those days when the weather is really crappy and you feel “stuck in the house” and totally bored? Your kids get in a bad mood, and the whole family just interacts poorly? Imagine being up here at the cottage and doing that for a week solid. It would drive you totally nuts. So how do you prevent it? It’s easy … get outside a lot! I mean ever single day, hopefully twice per day, for at least an hour at a time.
When we go outside we do all kinds of things. If the weather has been cold enough for long enough, then the lake is safe to walk on and we can walk all around the lake. Sometimes we’ll just pull the kids in a sled. We can also build snow forts and tunnels of all kinds … the time just flies by when we are building things in the snow. And then there’s the trips out to the wood pile to gather firewood to keep the cottage warm. But my favorite part has to be taking the kids over to one of the cottage roads, which becomes a sledding hill when it’s covered in snow. What makes these activities fun is that I get to pretend I’m a kid again. My first responsibility is to take care of my kids and make sure they are safe, but beyond that I like to dig tunnels, go sledding and slide on the frozen lake.
When we play outside, we are all happy. If we dress appropriately we stay very warm. We get a ton of fresh air and we all feel great. We’re all getting plenty of exercise too, which is a lot better than parking our lazy butts in front of the TV all day.
We can’t get outside every day. For example, this week we actually had two solid days of rain. The first day it was more of a mist and we could go outside for only 20 minutes before getting too wet. But the second day it literally poured for hours. That was an inside day. The kids got cranky and so did the parents (yup, nobody is perfect). We ended up playing indoor games and making crafts, which was fine, but for a while we were all just miserable.
The whole point of this post is to provide some perspective on keeping healthy and happy. My opinion is that by getting outside and playing with your kids, you’ll benefit from health and happiness. Those are two priceless “features” that any parent can add to their own life by acting like a kid again, in the presence of your own kids. Try it. It’s also worth noting that to play outside has a price tag of zero. Last time I checked the world was in a major recession (some say depression) … so cheap is good.
If you have a hard time convincing your kids to get outside in the winter weather, I can recommend a great audio course for parenting toddlers that will teach you some fantastic language tools to help influence them. But I’m a bit biased since I wrote the course.
Enjoy your children,
Chris Thompson
Based on my research, one of the most common problems parents face is that their toddler doesn’t want to go to bed. I’d like to explore this problem and discuss ways that you can solve it more or less permanently. I say “more or less” because patterns that you get your child into will always be in flux, but once you get the pattern installed, it’s just like driving. All you need to do is keep your eye on the road and adjust the steering wheel when needed.
When toddlers don’t want to go to bed it is usually for one of a few simple reasons. Either they think they are missing out on the fun that happens when they sleep, or they are somehow scared of their bedroom, or of the dark.
In this post, we’ll tackle only the first scenario. This is, in my experience, the most common. Kids are simply having too much fun and they don’t want it to end. If you were to ask (or give them the option), they’d tell you they want to stay up all night. They just don’t know any better, and it’s kinda cute if you ask me.
So how do you deal with this? You need to establish bedtime as something that is also fun. In fact, if you can make sure that bedtime is actually more fun than whatever else is going on, you’ll have even better success.
Here are 5 quick tips you can use to make bedtime more fun and less of a fight:
Next post we’ll talk about what you can do if your child is scared of bedtime for whatever reason. Until then, enjoy your children. If you enjoyed this post, then you’ll love my parenting audio book.
Chris Thompson
If you have a toddler in your house, then I’m sure you are familiar with the terrible twos. This is my first blog entry in what I expect to become a busy blog with loads of postings and user comments. So I thought it would be great to get the ball rolling by posting something that will help parents, and by giving a perspective not often found in the parenting community.
I have two beautiful daughters, but I would be lying if I said they were perfect little angels all the time. Of course they aren’t! We have nicknames for our girls. The oldest is “Monkey”. This was given to her when she learned to crawl in the early years. The youngest is “Kit Kat”, which was invented by my wife’s loving Aunt. It just stuck instantly!
Monkey and Kit Kat do their fare share of things that make us want to leave them with a babysitter for a few days! Most of the time my kids are quite well behaved, but they are normal – they get mad, they fight, they scream, and they throw the occasional tantrum. But it never lasts long and we always have a massive bag full of tricks to deal with these situations. The result is far less stress for my wife and I. We just roll with the punches. My 15 years of experience in NLP and Ericksonian Hypnosis certainly helps, but the strategies I use to deal with toddlers can be learned by anyone very quickly.
What I want to focus on in this blog post is the need to start with yourself before you worry about your child’s behavior. How you behave on the outside is critical because your child will model you. If you scream and yell at your child then your child will scream and yell back at you. Even worse, your child will learn that this is actually something they should do when mad. Believe me, this is NOT what you want your kids to learn!
Now let’s say that you don’t scream at your kids when they misbehave, but you get really mad on the inside, yet you manage to control yourself. This is better, but kids (and all humans/animals) will pick up on your non-verbal signals. The vast majority of communication is non-verbal!
The redness in your face, the heavier breathing, the tension in your muscles and the pace of your speech will serve as non-verbal cues to your child that he or she is succeeding in pushing your buttons.
In another post I will talk about how to actually deal with your children when they misbehave. But for now what I want to get through to you is the concept of relaxation. If you are relaxed and comfortable, your non-verbal communication to your child will be far more effective.
Your inner psychology is directly connected to your outward physiology. Because of this, it is very easy to change your psychology by adjusting your physiology. This direct link is extremely useful to you because you can take specific steps to relax and stay calm when dealing with your kids.
Here are some steps you can take:
This whole process may take you 10 seconds. It’s purpose is to completely alter your physical and emotional state so that you’ll be in a more resourceful state to deal with the “problem child”.
When your kids are misbehaving, 10 seconds can seem like eternity. But you know better. Believe me this is 10 seconds well spent. Now, when you deal with your children, you’ll convey a stronger and calmer message, you’ll get better results, and you’ll feel better about the outcome.
Enjoy Your Children,
Chris Thompson