I read a story dealing with the terrible twos this morning. A study released back in 1996 apparently concluded that the terrible twos are caused by parents. The article suggested that different “asset and liabilities” such as personality traits, economic status, social support and work-related stress were the biggest factors in determining if kids would go through the “terrible twos”.
In some ways I agree, but in other ways I disagree. Let me explain. First of all, I think that all kids go through a period of ‘testing the waters’. They push boundaries. They ask for things that they know they can’t have. No matter *what* you do as a parent you are not going to stop a child from pushing the boundaries. It is part of growth. It is expected and healthy. Yes, it is healthy.
But – how you *deal* with it as a parent is totally within your control. Unfortunately kids do not come with instruction manuals. What I’ve discovered is that using language strategies can solve most of the daily problems that parents run into. If you easily get frustrated with your child, or if you constantly tell your child “no” to things then you are literally asking for tantrums and other so-called “bad behavior”. On the other hand, if you learn how to apply distraction techniques, create the illusion of choice, manage your child’s emotional state, or reframe situations by changing their definition (among many other tools I teach), then you’ll end up avoiding these problems. Your kids (and you) will smile more often and you’ll have less parenting stress.
Click on the link here to get a free audio lesson where I’ll teach you 3 simple techniques you can start using right now.