Readers of this blog know that I offer an audio program for dealing with toddlers. Many readers also have older kids, which is not where my product is targeted. For older kids I recommend The Total Transformation Program. It is an amazing system to help you deal with your troubled children. Here is my review of Lesson 6.
Lesson 6 of The Total Transformation Program is all about problem solving. Parents and children will work together to figure out their reasons for lashing out by confronting the inappropriate behavior. Next, you will determine how best to react to future problems by coming up with an agreed-upon alternative behavior. James Lehman breaks down these problem-solving techniques into 8 straight-forward steps.
The first and most crucial step is to “investigate.” It is the parents’ responsibility to understand the child and to understand what motivates his or her bad behavior. This can be done by walking your child through a series of simple questions, like “What was going on just before you got upset?”
Parents need to “confront” their child’s behavior. In doing this, the parent must remain on a facts-only basis and not interject any feelings, blame, or emotion. State the behavior you saw. By sticking to the facts you’ll find it’s much easier to deal with the problem and come to a solution.
Always remember to “challenge” your child’s reactions. Be sure to tell your kids that excuses don’t justify bad behavior, for example “even though you broke up with your boyfriend that’s no excuse for you to be yelling at everyone in the house.”
Be sure to follow up with “consequences” for the child’s negative behavior. These consequences should involve a task and be done in a specified amount of time. Make sure they are clear and are linked to the bad behavior.
I have briefly described a few of the steps needed to reshape your child’s behavior. Lesson 6 explores all eight steps in more detail. Be sure to listen to the audio track carefully and follow all of Lehman’s homework assignments for best results.