When you get angry at your kid’s behavior it is easy to fall into the trap of yelling. I’m often going to great lengths to explain to parents what they need to do instead of yelling. My audio course consists of hours of information to help parents develop much better tools to deal with bad behavior.
But what is it about yelling that is so bad? Part of the problem (a big part) is that yelling takes away your power. When you yell you are showing emotion, and that particular display of emotion is equivalent to reduced power. Your kids know this. They might not know it on a conscious level, particularly if they are young toddlers, but they do know it on an unconscious level. That is, they know it without consciously thinking about it (much the same way that you know you are hungry without having to think about it, and you know to breathe without thinking about it).
How to you maintain power? You must stay calm and if you need to discipline your child you must do it in an unemotional way. It’s a lot better to say, “Sally you’re going to spend some time in your room now until you calm down” than it is to yell “Sally! Go to your room! You are in big trouble! Don’t come out until I say you can!”.
The point I’m making here is valid for children of any age. It is not just advice for parents of toddlers. Use this advice with your teenagers too. Make a habit of staying calm. Find better ways to deal by being unemotional. And there is always my audio course for dealing with difficult toddlers.
Enjoy your children,